I’ve always struggled to find words to describe my diagnosis or to put into words a definition to my mental illness.
Broken is one way I could easily describe who I am. People around me do not see it but the cracks are there and just below the surface. It’s clearly hidden by a smile and perfectionism. I pour my energy and thoughts into helping other people so I don’t have to focus on the thoughts running rampant inside my mind. I know that we’re beautifully broken but sometimes I feel like I’m broken without repair.
Now, when I’m excited or having a good day, I want to scream it to the world. When I’m feeling capable, I want so badly for people to understand I’m stronger today. I want people to see I’m making it work. I want people to understand the determination it takes to battle daily with simply trying to exist and not to give up. I’m broken and capable. This is a paradox statement that means that this brokenness has produced in me a determined will to fight.
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