Loneliness As An Unwanted Guest

I never had a problem with being by myself. That is what an introvert like myself has always done. However, the feeling of loneliness waltzed in and out of my mind and even sometimes worsened my depression. The people I am surrounded by do not fully comprehended my overall complex. My depression does not cause me to isolate, my loneliness does because I begin to believe that no one cares or understands me.

Often depression and loneliness goes hand and hand. It is a vicious cycle that can spiral. My mind is in overdrive because I’m constantly overthinking. It cause me to to want to bother or even inconvenience anyone with how I’m feeling or any related problems. I have always minimize my depression and pretend everything is alright and never want to appear weak or helpless. I pull away and always feel as though I need to handle everything on my own. Speaking of it is just as socially awkward and somewhat triggers my anxiety. At this point, everything feels utterly hopeless. Even though isolation is a choice of mine it makes me feel alone at times.

My mind convinces me that I am inherently broken for some reason but betrayed by others in a society that promotes depressed people as “toxic”. That’s the reality and that is I have depression, which convinces me I am alone and a burden to others. It’s a catch-22. I carry everything on my shoulders and push myself so hard to be “normal” and to remind myself there are people out there. I tried more to listen to my heart but my mind truly takes over and loneliness sneaks in. Loneliness, they say, is a detriment to one’s health and well-being. Loneliness increases mortality. Loneliness is for all intents and purposes a silent killer mimicked as depression.

Stand With Us Black Women

Everyday our black community is under attack. Not only just our race , our bodies, our hair and our livelihood but our reproductive health. As black women, our access to safe sexual and reproductive health care is in jeopardy. Black women has been the backbone of social movements in this country for such a long time.
Black women for whom the “choice “ in “pro-choice” does not apply because of restrictive policies. Black women for whom are miles away from the nearest health center or hospital. Black women for whom find their pain ignored and their decisions shamed.

In this world, it is not easy to be a black woman especially a carefree black women over the age of 25 years old with no children and unmarried. Essentially, being a carefree Black woman means that you do not have to fit into a specific box to be unapologetically black. I never did fit into a specific box or a specific stereotype. Embracing this for me meant destroying the idea that we can only show one side of ourselves to the world and erasing the stigma of actually being what it is to be a black woman.

The world see us, see our bodies, see our experiences and experiences and voices. When you do stand with us black women, it requires intentionality, respect and to take everything we fight for and stand for seriously.

Anime Los Angeles 2020

Anime Los Angeles (ALA) returned for its 16th year for those in Southern California! This convention is best known for its massive cosplay and those whom ultimately want to shrink away from the mayhem of Anime Expo. ALA was held at Ontario Convention Center but this tome for 4 days, January 9-12th).

Since moving to Southern California in 2013, I have been in attendance of ALA since then with exception of 2019. The atmosphere of the convention is a community of anime fans with activities and events held at both the convention center and Doubletree by Hilton hotel, which included this years fashion show. Also there are plenty of hotels around the convention center to accommodate the guests all within walking distance.

Ribbon collecting is what ALA is most known for. Some attend ALA solely for ribbon hunting instead of the cosplay. I am always impressed by the dedication of the attendees over the years I have attended.

The culture of gaming is continuing to grow as well as conventions adjusting to the vast variety of the community. Fan can attend panels that include idols and guests, time with your favorite voice actors and even controversial topics on race, discrimination, the POC community and the 18+ crowd.

Anime Los Angeles continues to bring an engaging lineup of guest from the anime industry. The highlight of the evening was the performance of the J-Rock band BRATZ. They played to a packed crowd of anime fans including the opening act from FEMM.

Here are some of the amazing cosplay at Anime Los Angeles: