The Occasional Other

I just turned 35 on the 28th of February and I guess you can say I’m in my mid 30’s. 35 years of countless facepalms! I’m still 100% figuring things out — but I like to think that I’ve learnt a few important lessons over the past 3.5 decades. Here’s 35 lessons I learned from 35 years of living.

1. I’m an anxious introvert and because I don’t show it, people may view me as rude and most won’t get it. I’m okay with it (I have to be)
2. I learned I’m very overstimulated by loud noises and super crowded places.
3. I learned more that people really don’t like me because I’m not societies typical black person. I’m considered weird. I’m still learning to be okay with it.
4. I have a lot more empathy and kindness towards everyone because it’s usually not shown to me.
5. I work 10x harder to NOT be like everyone else because then everything becomes stagnant.
6. Learning to be emotionally calm is really hard when you see someone do wrong
7. I learned I really do over explain myself because I’m use to no one really listening to me.
8. I’ve learned that the only thing I’ve ever wanted to be is a graphic designer, artist, or some kind of creative.
9. I learned that I can’t continue working for people who are bad people and their values to align my own
10. People can really be cruel and can really be mean spirited.
11. I learned God really gave me a gift to forgive people no matter what they have done and it’s hard to sometimes.
12. I had to learn I had to really take an easy and take a break because I was always on the go and always working and when I was wrongfully terminated, I was essentially forced to take a break.
13. I still don’t know how to lie even if I tried.
14. Being honest really does make people feel some kind of way.
15. Every decision really does matter. It’s usually why I pause for a second before making a move or doing something
16. I get a lot of my stubbornness and unwillingness to quit from my dad and it annoys people.
17. I really still look 10 years younger than my age and people are still not going to take me seriously because of it.
18. You can’t necessarily change your inner personality, only your actions and the ability to respond to it.
19. It’s okay to still feel a little lost
20. Having a chronic illness doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. I just had to find a unique way to manage and live
21. I can’t chance happiness but joy is obtainable.
22. Self care is really not being selfish or vain. It’s taking care your inner most needs physical, mentally and emotionally.
23. I really have a fear of driving no matter how many years I say I will learn for the sake of it.
24. Bring in my 30’s, I really learned to go with the flow and stopped strictly planning things because it always changes.
25. I’m not good at meditation or even sitting still but I like a quiet morning and evening
26. I’ve learned to honestly record and document everything.
27. I’ve learned and realized I’ve had those who inspired me especially creatively but I’ve never had a role model or “mentor”.
28. Racism is systemic instead of direct and it doesn’t matter how light or dark you are, now well you talk, I will still be viewed as a black woman.
29. I learned that people can be really rude and mean when you don’t want kids
30. I learned that I have to pay attention to how my body and stomach reacts to what I eat because it will tell you what is not good for the body.
31. The health care system get cruel as you get older especially if you have a chronic or mental illness and will look at your weird as a black woman still
32. Growing up and even now, hope is truly what keeps me going and keeps me alive
33. The last few years, trying holistic approaches works best for maintaining my health than pills (other than my medication for fibromyalgia and depression)
34. I learned my immune system is super high and has its up maids because I have had a cold or gotten sick in years.
35. I’ve understand Parkinson’s Law without realizing it. Working every day, or 10-12 hours a day doesn’t make you a hard worker. Parkinson’s Law, the idea that work expands to fill the time allotted for its completion, is a simple but important concept. You can likely complete a task in 3 hours or 30 minutes, depending on how you approach it. Normally people dislike me for it because I can analyze a task and complete in shorter time than others