Anxiety is something we have likely all felt at one point or another. It may have been situation-induced, like before a presentation or riding a rollercoaster. It may have been brought on by your brain repeating scary or negative statements. Or maybe, your anxiety is connected to a diagnosis like ADHD or depression. No matter what form your anxiety comes in, your experience is valid.
With me, it was label as “shy”, “timid” & “anti-social”. Now, I’m older. I’m looked at as “talkative”. Little do a lot of people know is that I have anxiety. It’s high functioning, social & anxiety disorder. For the longest time (and I mean my entire childhood to adulthood), I always thought it was stress.
“It’s only stress”
“We all have stress”
“It’s okay, it’s just daily stress”
Okay! I get it, it’s stress. However, it’s not. I felt overwhelmed most of the time, worried and constantly on edge, but I didn’t realize I had anxiety because I functioned. I got it all done. I’ve always got things done when I needed too and mostly by myself. Also, my fastidiousness made it seem like I had it all together. To this day, no one really can “see” that I have anxiety.
So here’s the things that happen currently:
- I talk a whole lot especially if someone is interested in talking to me.
- When I’m stressed with anxiety and super anxious, my stomach hurts like I contstantly have butterflies in my stomach.
- I fidget with my fingers especially when I am talking with someone or having a serious-like conversation.
- I move & walk fast even in a chronic pain flare-up.
- I hate being around a lot of people or groups of people or anyone getting too close.
- I had calling people on the phone. I prefer texting. I can better express in words.
- Fatigue sets in rather quickly but restlessness sets in even worse. I learned this recently as anxiety symptoms and I want my body to just shut up sometimes when this happens.
It’s a query suffering no one realizes, because they see it as me having it all together. They can’t hear my thoughts if I keep telling them I’m fine. That’s my normalcy.
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