When my depression bout happens, it feels like everything is grey & dull. Sometimes it feels painful because I want to cry all the time. It feels like I’m drowning except I’m seeing everyone around me breathing.
It’s sometimes like the Dementors from Harry Potter have caught me & sucked all the life out of me — or some of it.
I’m usually present though but mentally and emotionally far away. Depression is hard to put into words or the lack thereof.
With this, I feel completely alone & it’s so much more than just sadness.
Best way to describe it is “ashamed” rather than alone. I will isolate and my anxiety takes over. Then I’ll become irritable but no one allows me to stay silent.
I’ll manage but it’s difficult. I’m trying my best but… I’m running on empty. However, I have goals when it comes to my depression:
… and I challenge myself & you to …
– Choose Yourself
– Embrace Uncertainty
– Embrace Fear
– Start Small
– Celebrate Wins
– Stop Caring About What Other People Think
Trust me, the hard part is choosing myself because most times I want to package my smiles and happiness and give it to those more deserving.
My depression is much more than sadness. Sometimes I’m not sad but more melancholy, aware and empathetic.