This Is Why I Say “I’m Tired”

Everyone knows what it feels like to be really tired or even burned out or exhausted. It can be a variety of different reason from a long work day, or running errands, fun-filled week or even pulling an all-nighter. Usually a good nights rest will help and you are back on your feet the next day.

However, when you have a chronic illness (like Fibromyalgia) or even a mental health issue, one of the most common symptoms is chronic fatigue. This kind of “tiredness” is different from your normal tired a healthy person may feel.

For the longest, I used to wonder why I would get so overwhelmingly exhausted. Sometimes even at the same time everyday. For me, it always feel like my entire body is like sand. Or it feels like my entire body is weighed down with lead. There is no sleeping it off or relaxing it away. Sometimes it uncomfortable. I do whatever I can to function.

The comments I receive aren’t of support or empathy. I don’t necessarily get bad comments but I am always seen as a complainer or someone who is negative after being asked how I am doing. I am always told:

“You shouldn’t be tired”

“You’re too young to be tired”

“Was you up all night?”

It is a stigma within itself, especially when you are younger, black woman.

Sometimes, I don’t even need to sleep. I usually just can’t be up any longer. I loose half my concentration. I am usually tired in every sense, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. It’s debilitating. What so many people fail to realize is that chronic fatigue is a condition and a symptom of a current condition. To know that it is my immune system attacking me and my brain always on overdrive. It doesn’t get easier but I’m aware.

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