It’s A Medical Condition, Not A Choice

Everyday I learn more about each mental illness. What others go through and more importantly, what I go through. Some of my symptoms I’ve had for such a long time. Only difference is that now I can put a name to it. This does not come with an instruction manual but so many people like to add theirs comments to how I should cope with it. Sometimes I just want to hear that everything is okay.

It takes so much energy to accept my mental illness but I am told that I am too young to have anxiety or what do I need to be depressed about. You don’t have to “go through” an ordeal to have these issues.

With my anxiety, I am always worry about everything when there is nothing to worry about. I don’t choose to worry and I don’t choose to have anxiety.

Knowing that I had depression explains so many issues I have. One main thing is joint pain especially in my knees. I used to assume I was just tall but it was a form of musculoskeletal pain. This also affects my wrists, hands and lower back (L5).

I go through a sensory overload especially when I’m mentally exhausted. Every sound, touch, sight, and smell demands my attention. Nothing is tuned out. I am always on high alert making me mentally overwhelmed and exhausted.

I didn’t chose none of this so I wish people would stop judging me or make assumptions about the way I feel.

2 thoughts on “It’s A Medical Condition, Not A Choice

  1. Hi Mellyssa, do you have an e-mail I could reach you on? I wasn’t able to find any on the blog, would love to hear if you’re open to collab? You’re also more than welcome to write directly to me on emily@blogerize.com if you don’t want to publish your e-mail here in the comments 🙂

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