I never knew that something was wrong with me. However, many have told me my entire life that something was wrong with me. As I got older, I started to believe this. However, I never knew what was actually wrong with me besides the fact I was weird and not normal like women in this society.
Not to long ago I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. However, I have always been functional. It’s not by choice and if I could I would honestly stay in my room or in my bed to hide from the world.
Every time I wake up to turn off my alarm, I feel just “awake”. I’m not refreshed. I’m sometimes tired and even get a little dizzy sometimes. It’s an invisible illness I’m still trying to understand. The one problem I have is my inability to sit down or relax. When I do lay down my legs are a bit restless like I have to do something. If feel as though if I sit down I won’t get back up and this has happened. Most of the time, I have to force myself to be functional and I always look like I have it a together. The functional part will hide my chronic pain, when I’m feeling nervous, or just feeling worthless. Most of my pain is unexplained. I don’t know why or how especially for someone who never got injured or broken a bone in my body.
As I get older, I doesn’t get easier but I learn more about my invisible illness and that I’m still functional