I’m Not Nerdy Enough

As a child, I was always called a nerd, four eyes, a geek, and other names because I did not look like the average child in the 90’s. I was too smart for some kids and socially awkward. According to what society has to say and deems as nerdy, I would be considered your standard. I love anime, I enjoy cosplaying, and I am pretty much still an awkward person even in my mid-twenties. In high school, I used to have conversations over favorite anime characters, Yu-gi-oh, the original 52 Poke’mon characters, and comic book characters. However, I still feel as though I need to prove myself to other people.

Growing up, I wore glasses and I was tall. On top of that, I was a book nerd, music geek, anime lover, and a avid video gamer. No one would ever let me forget it. Well into my twenties, I am still this way. To the general public, I was called weird and I used to be bullied. I never really fit in so I turned to the Internet and more video games. As I got older, I got more interested in Japanese culture, and more intellectual conversations. On top of that, I am an artist. I also know how to draw and many were so jealous that they couldn’t believe I even drew half of the drawing I created.

When I got to high school, I stepped more outside of my shell. I joined the marching band, the choir, and became more social. I even joined ROTC. I still was not considered as normal, but at least I was bearable. I was a little too smart for some to the point where a teacher told me I had to share my answers with a student. Why should I do that so they can just copy my answers and say they came up with the answers to fill their self worth? I got more interested in the world and to why these things happen. Mind you, I am a college graduate and in graduate school. This has become more of a trend now; full of fake individuals. I have a theory though.


In 2015, it is still hard for people to believe that a black person can have other interests other than hip-hop, being on the streets, and slang talking. We have been molded into a stereotype of being unsuccessful, whether we have proof or not.


I have recently found out about sexism and being successful and in the “nerd community”. This still happens now. Women are seen as shop-a-holics, socializers, sometimes posers, and/or fishing to be accepted. It is said that women cannot be video gamers, cosplayers, intellectuals, and still be successful.


People expect intellectuals and nerdy like individuals to be unkempt and dress an unflattering way. That is definitely not the case. When I go to college, no one expected that I had an athletic figure and well kept wardrobe. I am quite the nerd, but I am well aware of fashion trends and can be anywhere from chic to business professional.

I never feel the need to prove myself to anyone, but sometimes I would like to meet some people in person and outside Anime Conventions who can think outside the box and share similar interests. Being told you should belong in a certain box, and have people in that same box reject really sucks. However, I break that box and create my own.

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