Author: LunaNightingale
I put on some make-up and put a smile on my face. If anyone asks me, everything is ok . I'm Laughing because no one knows the joke is on me because I'm dying inside with my pride and the smile on my face. I am an artist who lives my by my own rules and define my own creativity. I explore the world through using my hands, leaving everything else to the imagination. Using graphite to illustrate whatever comes to mind. My art connects me between two worlds...my creativity and my heart. I find an escape in my art. This is where I find my voice...on a blank sheet of paper, a blank template on a computer, or objects I come across. I refuse to limit my artistic expression.
It’s A Medical Condition, Not A Choice
Everyday I learn more about each mental illness. What others go through and more importantly, what I go through. Some of my symptoms I’ve had for such a long time. Only difference is that now I can put a name to it. This does not come with an instruction manual but so many people like to add theirs comments to how I should cope with it. Sometimes I just want to hear that everything is okay.
It takes so much energy to accept my mental illness but I am told that I am too young to have anxiety or what do I need to be depressed about. You don’t have to “go through” an ordeal to have these issues.
With my anxiety, I am always worry about everything when there is nothing to worry about. I don’t choose to worry and I don’t choose to have anxiety.
Knowing that I had depression explains so many issues I have. One main thing is joint pain especially in my knees. I used to assume I was just tall but it was a form of musculoskeletal pain. This also affects my wrists, hands and lower back (L5).
I go through a sensory overload especially when I’m mentally exhausted. Every sound, touch, sight, and smell demands my attention. Nothing is tuned out. I am always on high alert making me mentally overwhelmed and exhausted.
I didn’t chose none of this so I wish people would stop judging me or make assumptions about the way I feel.
Alternative Fashion | Black Woman Style
There are days I just want to put on some clothes and make myself feel good. Today was one of those days I just being true to myself. I coordinate meticulously and wearing alternative fashion was not a part of a rebellious or attention sealing phase. I have always identified with the freedom of dressing anyway you choose and I genuinely identify with various sub cultures. I enjoy picking out a whole aspect of my personality to display each day.
While most people save their creativity for the weekends or the days they are not working, I prefer to look in the mirror each day and see myself (depression, anxiety and all my flaws). I don’t really wear a lot of jewelry but I strive to survive in my own skin including what I wear. This is my idea of “normal” but it’s everyone else idea of “weird”. Even with my anxiety, I know people are taking about what I wear but I do my best to ignore such things especially when I am of color.
Today’s outfit is how I am feeling: Content and comfortable.
