The Biggest Secret About My Social Anxiety

Falling vector graphic design poster designed by Mellyssa A. Diggs
Design created by Mellyssa A. Diggs

I actually don’t like people.

People call me weird but I think that they are just as weird.

However, they’re interesting & maybe even fun to watch — from a distance. I’m the one studying their body language and social cues. It’s a secret because since I do the complete opposite of someone with social anxiety. I talk a lot & sometimes to a ramble. I have to always explain myself.

However, it’s not the case.

No one gets it because it happens when I’m in that setting of social interaction, such as work or taking care of business.

On the inside, my stomach is upset in knots. My heart doesn’t race but I’m get paranoid that someone might approach me.

On the inside, I’m nervous and I rub my hands together.

In my head, I have the worse case scenarios of whatever social setting I’m in. I think about saying something stupid, tripping or falling, and people talking about me or just staring at me.

I don’t like getting to close to people. It freaks me out. This happens when I’m interacting closely but the fight or flight response kicks in high gear and I do the opposite of what I feel inside to — protect myself. I don’t even get it sometimes. But the assumption that I like people is inaccurate. Im forced to fit in at times as a natural body response.

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