Everyday I learn more about each mental illness. What others go through and more importantly, what I go through. Some of my symptoms I’ve had for such a long time. Only difference is that now I can put a name to it. This does not come with an instruction manual but so many people like to add theirs comments to how I should cope with it. Sometimes I just want to hear that everything is okay.
It takes so much energy to accept my mental illness but I am told that I am too young to have anxiety or what do I need to be depressed about. You don’t have to “go through” an ordeal to have these issues.
With my anxiety, I am always worry about everything when there is nothing to worry about. I don’t choose to worry and I don’t choose to have anxiety.
Knowing that I had depression explains so many issues I have. One main thing is joint pain especially in my knees. I used to assume I was just tall but it was a form of musculoskeletal pain. This also affects my wrists, hands and lower back (L5).
I go through a sensory overload especially when I’m mentally exhausted. Every sound, touch, sight, and smell demands my attention. Nothing is tuned out. I am always on high alert making me mentally overwhelmed and exhausted.
I didn’t chose none of this so I wish people would stop judging me or make assumptions about the way I feel.